When My Mom Was Dying In The Hospice I Made A Mistake That Still Bothers Me 35 Years Later And I Don’t Want You To Do The Same

Raoul Eiseman
6 min readAug 22, 2020

Of all the stories I have written on Medium this starts off very strange and is hard to believe, but I have no reason to make it up and so I assure is a true story . The question is what is the connection with someone you love when you have a dream about them that was happening before you went to bed and this happens thousands of miles away from you.

In 1984, the day after I dreamed about my mother, my father called me and said I have bad news and I said to him I already know so I will tell you what has happened first. He was in Seattle and I was in Michigan so there is no way that conversations interfered with what took place. When I told him he said how did you know and I said I had just dreamed it last night and he said it’s hard to believe and I agreed, and that is why I told you before you could say it. I knew that my mom had breast cancer and had been treated for it for years so when I had a dream that her face was covered with a stark white color I knew right away that it represented her imminent death. That part is not unusual, because we all know that many cancers lead to death and I would’ve forgotten the nightmare, but since my dad called me right away the next morning, it was fresh on my mind.

I had told my dad that my mother had taken a bad turn in her health and was in the hospital. He agreed and said that she had just been treated with chemotherapy to her brain and collapsed in the parking lot as they were heading back to the car which I didn’t know. I flew to Seattle to be with my parents and spoke to her doctor. He felt bad because he said the last treatment was more than she could handle, but he said he was trying to help her, but he was wrong and felt bad. I didn’t realize it at that time that the treatment was over because nothing else could be done. I found out a month later on another visit to Seattle when I was angry at the doctor and wanted to know why he wasn’t doing anything more for her. Most of us have lost one or both parents or others and we all know how hard these times are, but I thought about the dream and wondered what is the connection?

She never left the hospital and she was transferred to hospice care shortly after that. I was going up to Seattle on another day and called my father in her room and spoke to him for a short time when a friend that was in the room came on the phone and said your…