I Should Win A Pulitzer Prize For The Following Phrase: Sticks And Stones May Break My Bones, But Worms Can Never Hurt Me

Raoul Eiseman
3 min readOct 10, 2020

What a silly person you are to help me win the Pulitzer Prize by reading the headline and deciding to read my worms. Please don’t stop reading as there is an important message coming up that you should remember for the rest of your life that will be passed to future generations.

I have spent a lifetime researching the difference between words and worms and it is much more than changing one letter. My work has included telling my parents I am too sick to go to school and calling in sick to work to keep my studies from going forward. I have looked at them under a microscope and used extreme temperatures in the oven and freezer and the differences always stayed the same. I finally came to the unmistakable conclusion that they are the same words because they both came from the same Latin derivative and in fact the Greeks and Egyptians used them interchangeability. It is only in the last one thousand years that they have become two different meanings. I will give you an example:

The worms you are reading on this page have a hidden meaning that only the most intelligent of you will be able to decipher.

Don’t be surprised that some of you see the worm as words and some don’t see words. It depends on your genetic differences because Mother Nature has given some of us gifted people the ability to interchange them like our ancestors over a thousand years ago. You should be beginning to see the point of my studies and the final edition will win the big prize. When you die and either are buried or cremated the same condition will be created where the words you heard that made you feel bad will be forever gone, but the worms will stay with you forever. Another way of looking at this important concept is that the words will stay with you forever and the worms will become meaningless. I can really feel that half of you are with me and the others are skeptical so will I will reveal something that I decided should never be spoken so I am only saying them in words. The last 1000 years have been a confusing time for humans because of the tragic mistake that worms should have been used as the the right worm for words. I promised myself that never in a thousand years would I share this concept because when you understand the secret I just revealed, life will become less confusing.

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